I'm not saying I'm a bad person, because I'm not, but I am a hard person to love.
When I was younger, around fifteen, I wanted something serious, too serious. I'm not talking sex, I'm talking I wanted to meet my husband and live happily ever after. Now I'm twenty-one years old and being married scares the hell out of me. I'm not worried about commitment, I'm a commitment kind of girl. There is just something about that piece of paper that 'forces' an idea of forever - but this is not a rant about my views on marriage at my age. I think it's all different for every single soul. This is a point of the boy who did fall in love with me, through all of my spurts of insanity.
I was sixteen, a junior just starting at a new high school after being dropped out for a year or so (yes, I've been a drop out. Life experience, but I do not encourage it!), and I was nervous and dating a stupid boy. Don't we all have those? He dumped me because I was too serious, which I was. So then I was single, stupid and sixteen. The three S's, if you will. So, I focused on school and being a normal 'high school kid'. I've faced it now, that I was never normal.
When I was sixteen I did weird things with my friends. One day we decided to dress up as 'Charlies Angels' and put makeup on our faces like we were in a tribe, and took pictures. Next thing I knew from that day one of my friends had a picture with a really cute red head (I've always had a soft spot for gingers), so I asked who her cute friend was. Soon enough there was a friend request from a boy, that cute red head, by the way. I said hi, then he said hi, then eventually he was the one I logged in hoping that I would see a message from. Then from there it went from texting, and I found out he was a boy who could not fall in love (he said so himself). Finally we hung out at a minutes golf course. My little sister came along, because I was too nervous by myself. I picked him up, and I'm pretty sure I didn't speak the entire way there. And our first ice breaker for my shy self?
|Our first photograph together. Seventeen and sixteen.|
"So, why can't you fall in love Ryan Wade?"