Friday, April 12, 2013

not naked days, proof that I am getting dressed!

SEE, even if I'm not getting my tripod out, I am getting dressed. I swear, and iPhone was a horrible idea for me. I take way too many 'selfies'. What can I say, I'm attracted to myself and I am not ashamed.


Wednesday, April 10, 2013

it makes me nervous, writing tid bits

I want to write about you, but it has me nervous. There's something so casual about it all. That lack of concern of words that flow through my lips has me nervous. 

But then there's your lips, always sweetly touching mine. Touching me. Places that I forgot could be kissed. My hair. My forehead. My neck. 

I don't want these feelings, in all honesty. I could do well without them. I don't need to like someone. I don't need to share a bed with someone. I don't need arms around me. I don't need your lips on mine. I don't need anyone's lips on mine. 

But I like that yours are. I like that you want your lips to graze my body. I like that my jibber jabber gets smiles and sweet gazes. I like that you let me soak in the world, in the moment, and don't ask questions. I like that there's a hand there when I need it, and space when it's wanted. I like that you like me, but I don't like that I like you. It makes me nervous. 

It's being vulnerable. It's allowing myself to truly be unguarded. It's believing your words, and having hope that one morning you don't just change your mind right after I decide to let you in. I don't want you to have that power. I don't want anyone to have that power. I wasn't always like this, and now it makes me nervous. 

You make me nervous, but I think I like it. 


Tuesday, April 9, 2013

out living in the world, march & april (two)

GUYS, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. I know I've been missing here and I keep making promises that I'll come back, but it's hard to record life when you're actually spending your days in the moment. I feel as though I always wrote these words, trying to find life in them, trying to create life in myself by recording them, and it never did it. I was still searching, blindly hoping that one day life would turn around, and you know what? I made it turn around. I wake up every morning and want to live in the moment, and be here. I laugh and I play. I read and I write again. I feel alive.

And I probably am beginning to sound like a broken record. So, just hang with me, and take the photographs above as proof that I am not sitting on my couch eating cookie dough, but living and being stoked on, well, everything.


Friday, April 5, 2013


thinking about; being free, and enjoying every moment of it. the simplicity of changing one thing in my life, one thing i was scared of changing and how everything is falling into place. already my world is filled with more laughter, adventures, good vibes and good feelings than it has in years.

reading; The Time Travelers Wife, even though i couldn't tell you how many times i've already read it. it's a book i'm a addicted to, a book i write in, a book that i underline the words that cause me to feel alive, or love. if you haven't read it, you should. there's something about the honesty in the words that sparks a nerve in me. that inspires me.

listening to; my music tastes have been slightly, okay not slightly, they HAVE been everywhere lately. one minute I'm bumping Die Antword in my car, and day dreaming that i'm Yolandi Visser, to singing along to Hunter Hayes all while falling in love with that kid. So, I'm either an african bad ass, or a cute little country singer. depends on my mood, right? (and never forget the random rap remix music, or my go to acoustic...)

looking forward to; all my daydreams are in summer right now. the weather is truly warming up here in Southern California and i just can't wait for the adventures that summer brings. night time trips to the hot springs, camping on the beach, secret spots in the woods, natural water slides, nights you don't remember in the morning, the memories to be made (oh, the memories!), bon fires with far too much booze, and just those good nights, with those good conversations that only the desert can bring you.

watching; random things, to be honest. sometimes it will be stand up comedy, to the walking dead (which is over now...), to all the random chick flicks that my heart is aching for.

making me happy; the music coming through my speakers, the sound of my phone going off, waking up and knowing that i have no idea what's coming in the day but they are all good, night time desert adventures, things that are a little bit dangerous but that rush makes it worth it, sweet morning kisses, living with my best friend and having wonderful days even if we're both being bitchy. life is making me happy.