The other night I had a strange breakthrough. To be honest, it felt like I was waking up. Nothing important was going on, in reality I think I was just on tumblr. My mind is never on what I am doing, so of course it was bouncing from thought to thought, not really having a meaning or purpose, and I thought of moment that took place seven years ago.
I was sitting on a curb outside of some restaurant with my big brother and we were talking about the past, because I was fourteen and thinking I had committed something that was the end of the world (of course looking back now, it was a good experience), and he brought up the object of time. He told me that we can't see time. He even asked me where it was. He showed me that moments in the past don't exist. After all, can you really track them down? Can you visit them, physically? No, you can't. So, why do they have to exist at all? Why do you have to worry about something that happened, and yet there is no record of it?
For some reason, my mind igniting that memory, and those words from my brother, brought me back to life. I honestly feel like I was awaken from a slumber. I think I allowed myself to be asleep for the past two years. I let something define me, that has no right to define me.
Thank you, Troy. I love you.
I feel awake, and I feel alive. I feel good, for the first time in a long time.