honesty corner, my soul is aching...(fourteen)

Do you ever get that feeling where you truly need to be outside? The warm sunshine on your face, maybe a lovely cool breeze in the air, and being surrounded by trees so tall that you can barely see the top of them. To wander around the woods, whether they be familiar or not, or a park or not, and feel the earth, feel the silence. Bask in the silence.

I know the obvious solution is to go venture into the rockies that I live oh so close to, but when it's 3 degrees outside it seems daunting. I could drive up, and sit in my car, get out and freeze my ass off, but I'm not sure that sounds enjoyable. I"ll most likely end up doing it anyway. Why is it that I'm near one of the most beautiful mountain ranges in the United States and all I do is crave either a) a crappy forrest in the desert of California or b) the luscious green and fern ridden woods of the Pacific North West?

My sea legs and heart full of wanderlust may never be content.

food for thought,

would you rather have a) happiness and satisfaction, or b) love, passion and pleasure?

stay tuned,
l.shane

honesty corner, thirteen

Do you feel lost RIGHT NOW?

Get outside your head, and think about this moment you're in. Somewhere in this world, someone understand life, even if it's just for this moment. Someone is bypassing the bullshit, and has that feeling where you know the universe is there, and it's whole. Where you feel all the answers, and that naive optimism, that we all secretly thrive off of.

So, you're having a bad day today? Think of those people. Think of those moments in your life, and know that you'll be there again someday. One day you'll be there. Today is a bad day, a lost day, but they don't last. They NEVER last. Throw yourself into the universe, and into all the feelings of the cosmos and no, it won't always be like this. It will get better (not to sound like a teen infomercial). You have this. You understand this. Only in this moment are you doubting yourself. Just think, be you, and you're fine.

honesty corner, what i'm learning...

Growing up is fun, and immensely complicated, but everyday I'm learning these amazing new things as a woman, and a person, and an individual. Here are my two simple lessons that I've been applying to my everyday world,

- Be in the moment, because there is no where better to be than right here.

and,

- Never stop dreaming. Being a 'grown up' with a job and bills to pay is not a good enough excuse to not dream, and not chase those dreams. I'm learning that twenty one is not nearly as old as I thought it was, and how I let myself feel. I'm being young again, and with this complicated mind, that is a wonderful feat in itself.

Have an amazing weekend, and just BE.

a new year is approaching...

I'm the queen of resolutions. The queen of using birthdays, and holidays as a chance to restart my world, but even though I'll write in circles about it, I've never really seen results. This year I'm taking all the power within myself to create my own results. I've come to a realization that was a long way coming, and that realization is this; I am a twenty-one year old woman and it is time to own up to who I am, and no longer let any excuse be good enough. This is my one and only life, and I will never be as young as I am in this moment in time. It is time to take everything into my own hands, to enjoy every moment and quit taking my life and my world for granted. It is time to live, and not just think about it.

I hope you all have a wonderful new years eve, and spend the time getting ridiculously silly while wearing sparkly dresses. I love you all. This new year is going to be kick ass.

l.shane

honesty corner, going against all I believe in!

I spent my entire life thinking that only bitchy girls wear purses this way, but this purse is too cute and there is no other way to wear it. I'm admitting on going back on something I've believed my entire life. Ah, my confession of the day. Oh, yeah, I also wear glasses.

l.shane

honesty corner, i am my mother

The older I get the more I truly am realizing that every good quality I have, I get from my mother. In a lot of ways I am like my siblings, which is funny because I'm not the youngest. I'm right dab smack in the middle of them all. Bits of pieces of me are my older brother, my little siblings, and even (no matter how much I do not exactly like it) my big sister. I've even the only sibling who always gets along with everyone, all the time, and who can find a way to relate, all the time. It's a funny family I'm in, but at the end of the day, I am most like my mother. Even right down to her forgetfulness and my inability to return phone calls.

I have her heart. I share her love for pretty things and Fleetwood Mac. She taught me how to use my small hands to create things out of wire and beads. We share a love for things related to the earth, hippy knick knacks, and an obsession with Christmas. She showed me to be compassionate towards the entire world, and not let our passive aggressive nature get in the way of doing what is right. I am loving, because of her.

She taught me to be a woman, a real woman, a strong woman despite things that get in the way that are out of our control. I am thankful everyday for my mother. She is truly my best friend.

(and she would literally kill me if she ever saw this post. She hates pictures. So, I can assume she would hate it even more if she realized pictures of her were on the internet. So, keep it quiet, will you?)

honestly corner, careful, i'm being feisty

Every reader is a blessing. You should be thankful for anyone who takes the time out of their lives to read your blog, but I've been noticing something that is starting to bother me a little bit. I know that heartfelt comments aren't common, but why aren't they?

Lately I worry that people just want their blog name out there, so they comment on the pretty pictures and ignore the words or the story that as bloggers we are putting out there. Excuse my vulgar language, but you shouldn't be 'whoring' your blog out there just for followers.

This is a community. This is a place to build relationships, to build on the person you are, to let your creativity build it's self. This is not a 'popular' thing. Leave that back in grade school, guys and gals.

Keep this place pure. Keep this community pure, please.

honesty corner, begin again

'In here we are fresh...'

That's how this began, this blog, this new project, this new beginning. I'm realizing now that I wrote down those words straight from my heart and onto this screen, but I failed to realize how true those words were. I failed to understand the fresh pallet I was beginning for myself, this new surface that I was finally giving myself reign to figure out who I am, what I was meant to create, and what my heart was brought to this earth to produce. I'm not speaking for the world to see, but something for my soul to be proud of, something that will cause my chest to be full of joy and warmth.

Now with that said, there is a small announcement to say, that is just for myself, but it is worth it to be expressed on Delicate Gypsy, because it matters to Tea at Noon and to me, Laura Shane. Originally, I thought I was going to keep all my old jewelry, my old creations, but I was wrong. I did keep a few, the ones that my heart felt right keeping, but some of them are my beginning creations. And although I like seeing where it leads me, and how it changes, I will start producing all new creations. It begins with ripping everything apart, and starting fresh. It's a breath of fresh air for the realization. In your twenties, in your life, you are constantly growing. Growing as a human being, and this is me, growing creatively.

In here we ARE fresh.
In here we ARE ourselves.
In here we ARE growing.
In HERE we are HAPPY.


I truly appreciate you reading this journey with me, it means a lot.

honesty corner, k a t c h

Somewhere in this world there is an Irish woman, and a feisty Irish woman at that. She enjoys going to a coffee shop, and when you meet her you cannot help but to become attached to her spirit. It radiates from her flaming hair, and you do not even have to speak to her. You can simply witness her from your little quiet corner of the coffee shop, as you both carry on to do whatever you are sitting there to do.

But if you do get the chance to speak with her, you should consider yourself extremely lucky because deep inside she is everything that you ever thought a woman should be. Her strength is magnificent, her wonder has never died out through out her years, and her heart? She's never spent a day not listening to it. She is proof that you can follow every path your heart leads you on, and still never spend a day producing anything toxic in this world.

You meet this woman, and if you have never met anyone like her, it gets you thinking. It gets your thoughts in circles, and makes you wonder what you're doing with your life. It makes you wonder why, at the young age you are, have you already spent time not listening to your own heart? This woman never did anything she did not to do, and she managed to do this without hurting anyone in the world.

In my world, she made me wonder why I do things my heart is telling me not to, or why I don't follow every whim my heart leads me to. Why do I let a silly job put me down so much that when I'm not there I never find myself doing what I want to do? She showed me that I am wasting my own world by allowing something that will not matter in years to come, effect my life and add a darkness to my heart. Those things don't matter, only the light in my heart does. It's simple, and I have allowed it to be complicated. They say November is the month of thanks, and I am thankful for this woman, even if I only know her from a distance. Thankful that I can realize this now, while I am young, while I can change everything. No matter your age, you should start following your heart now. Especially if it is screaming at you to, and you've been ignoring it.

We should all aspire to be like Katch. 

honesty corner, seven

Today was spent wrapped up in my restless thoughts, desperate to get out of my own skin, desperate for home, desperate for that 'whole' feeling.

But then a wonderful woman reminded me of all the little things that I truly need to quit neglecting. The little things that you are so certain are the key to everything when you're younger, but when you get older you somehow convince yourself that those things don't matter and you become overwhelmed with the reality of a 'grown up' life. You begin to worry more about the funny noise your car is making, or whether or not you're producing good 'work' at your day job. In short, you forget about everything that truly matters, and only think about things that absolutely do NOT.

Well, I'm done with getting overwhelmed with all this nonsense that the world tells me is 'grown up', or what I should be worrying about. In reality, a job is just a job. Sure, I'm far from home, but being homesick is a natural part of this life, and that should not make the world be any less wonderful. Money is silly green paper, and even if it is useful, it's not important. It's time to layout and look up at the stars, to let myself be consumed by the christmas lights in my house and an intoxicating candle lit on the floor, to dance like a crazy person in my house because it's healthy, and to laugh and smile whenever I can because absolutely nothing in this world is more precious.

Thank you, Miss Cutillo. You truly helped a down girl today, and you didn't even know it.

l.shane

a little daily inspiration

The fall is quickly dying away here, and all the beautiful, full leaves are turning into broken bits and pieces and being blown away by the chilly breeze. I've been trying to find my 'nitch', in everything, nothing specific. Here is a photograph just for inspiration. (I can't find a proper source. In all honesty, it's a beautiful photograph found on tumblr.)

stay tuned,
l.shane

honesty corner, six

I am a horrible photographer, let's be honest. The only way any of my photographs ever look halfway decent is due to my phone, or the good camera that Ryan got me for last Christmas. I never pretend to be good. I just don't like stealing photographs, for the most part.

There, it's out!

honesty corner, five

So this is a confession, and a confession that might not be popular among most...

I have a deep seeded hatred for animal print. It's nothing about animal rights, or PETA, or anything like that. I just hate it. I won't even buy a coat or a bra if there is animal print on the inside that is not visible. 

There it is, folks. My unpopular opinion. Whew, feels good to get that off my chest! 

Stay tuned, 

l.shane

honesty corner, four

There is not a damn thing I know about this world. At least, that's how life feels. I'm sure it's normal, expected even. You reach your twenties and you suddenly realize that you have no idea how life works or even why life works the way it does. Then it goes deep into you understanding that you don't have yourself figured out nearly as much as you thought, and really you're on this never ending journey that is you figuring out yourself and this world.

One day you find yourself in a new state, and a blind recollection of how you got there. You may have known why at one point, but looking back at that version of yourself, it feels a little blurry. You think of the happiness you do have here, and how in love you are, and that helps sooth your worried soul a little bit more. You drive home and see the mountains and once again, you're a little bit more soothed.

But none of that is answers, or family, or friends. You come to realize that maybe it doesn't matter the location you find yourself, but who you're around, but wait, didn't you know that? You thought you were moving here for the right reasons. Don't doubt your past self purely based on the fact that things simply did not work out. Because in reality, things rarely work out the way you imagined them. You can daydream and daydream for days, and things will probably have a different outcome than you thought.

So here I am, a girl who followed her heart and her most recent daydreams. Not living the life I expected, but enjoying the moments as they come. Maybe we were meant to come here to learn about ourselves, and each other, and who we are as a couple. Things don't work out the way you wanted, but does that mean that they were wrong? Not at all.

It's good to have your daydreams. It's even good to live in them. I will never, ever say that someone should stop daydreaming. Daydreams make the world go round, I honestly believe that.

To put it simply, puberty never ends. It just continues on with new confusions. Life is a funny, funny thing.

autumn breeze, bring me some inspiration

this morning started with productivity, and walking around our corner of the world with the warm rays of the sun and that wonderful autumn breeze that is beginning to sweep through this god forsaken state, but around four all inspiration and motivation died inside of me. here's a pretty picture and hopes that it will come back soon.

l.shane

p.s. i'm learning to bake! that's my only life update. 

honesty corner, three

I'm one of those people who are fueled by fire, by a passion, and the only downside of that is that I want to fix everything and change the world - all at once. It has jumped from teaching, to special education, to pediatric brain injuries, to the GSB Alliance. I can never stay focused on one thing, but at least in the end, if one of those topics is brought up, I'm still incredibly passionate about it, I just have a hard time picking just one. (And this break from school is not helping my constantly changing mind...)

This is about to get HEAVY.

Recently Taylor Swift came out with the song "Ronan", and I won't lie, I'm a big T.Swift fan. So, naturally I went to go listen to it. It is a pretty and slow song, my favorite kind, but then I went to read the lyrics, and it touched me (as I hope it would everyone). Almost instantly I went to go find the blog that I read about, and started reading about that wonderful little boy and his momma.

Ronan was a beautiful three year old boy who was diagnosed with stage 4 Neuroblastoma cancer. He fought like hell for eight months, and then on May 9th, 2011, he passed away. His wonderful mother, Maya, wrote every day about the journey they were on. It's a heartbreaking blog (www.rockstarronan.com), but it tells an important story. His mother is so strong, and is taking his passing in the best way I could imagine, and is going to change the world. She will not stop until the world is more informed, and we are closer to finding a cure for childhood cancer.

While I was reading I realized the dates that she was in the hospital with her baby the last few days, I was with my little brother in a pediatric ICU two states over after he had been struck by a truck. I was looking into the eyes of a mother, and it was like looking into what my momma was going through while her baby laid in a hospital bed, comatose, in a battle of life and death. To this day I am thankful that my baby brother survived and currently lives with my Mom while recovering from a very serious traumatic brain injury, but it made me connect with Maya.

I want to make a difference. I think we all should want to make a difference. Maybe you won't personally cure childhood cancer, or magically find a way to have the brain heal, but you could get the word out there, or you could help those who have faced these things. There are so many things we can do as human beings to help each other, and I think we should all try. I think it matters to try.

Go kiss your babies. Go tell your friends you love them. Go call your Momma. Go make a difference.

& go listen to Ronan by Tayler Swift, and maybe donate a dollar to the http://theronanthompsonfoundation.com/

our corner of the world

You know guys, the internet has a bad reputation. I feel people shove it into a category of being used to shit talk, speak opinions that are hurtful, and to create a more dumb founded youth - but I disagree. Look a this little world that just us bloggers have created. I love the idea that you could email nearly any of your favorite bloggers, with questions, comments or even advice and they would respond to kindly and so genuine.

I have found this in other sections of the internet, too. Back when I was eleven to about fourteen, I was a Harry Potter roleplayer. I love it, and to this day I am still friends with all of those lovely ladies and gentleman.

Yeah, the internet has a bad rep. Look how all kind and lovely our little corner is. and you know what they say, kindness spreads. Just some positive thoughts to send you into your weekend.

With love,
l. shane

honesty corner, three

These past few days, these past few months, okay, these past few years have been a whirlwind, but it truly does come down to these past few weeks. I've heard many people say that your teens are the most complicated time, but I would like to question those people and raise them a few points. I honestly feel as though the twenties are the most difficult, and I'm fresh into them. You see, in your 'teens' you at least believe you have the world figured out. You face difficulties, but for the most part, you believe that you're infallible. Part of me misses that feeling...

And then there is the roaring lion in my head telling me that I truly don't miss it. Who honestly would miss young ignorance when you're faced with more truth, more soul, more life? These past few weeks have been hard, but not due to physical problems, more so due to a person boot camp I appear to be putting my mind through. It's a battle I fight silently for the most part, besides this post. It's a battle I barely even speak of, not even to my best friend.

I'm learning things...and that could the the child of many other things, but when you get right down to it, I'm in an age of growing and learning. I can over analyze all I want, but the simple solution is right there.

When you get down and gritty with it, I'm growing as a woman, and that's a complicated thing to do.

honesty corner, two

“We ate well and cheaply and drank well and cheaply and slept well and warm together and loved each other.”
                                 - Ernest Hemingway, A Moveable Feast