Today was spent wrapped up in my restless thoughts, desperate to get out of my own skin, desperate for home, desperate for that 'whole' feeling.
But then a wonderful woman reminded me of all the little things that I truly need to quit neglecting. The little things that you are so certain are the key to everything when you're younger, but when you get older you somehow convince yourself that those things don't matter and you become overwhelmed with the reality of a 'grown up' life. You begin to worry more about the funny noise your car is making, or whether or not you're producing good 'work' at your day job. In short, you forget about everything that truly matters, and only think about things that absolutely do NOT.
Well, I'm done with getting overwhelmed with all this nonsense that the world tells me is 'grown up', or what I should be worrying about. In reality, a job is just a job. Sure, I'm far from home, but being homesick is a natural part of this life, and that should not make the world be any less wonderful. Money is silly green paper, and even if it is useful, it's not important. It's time to layout and look up at the stars, to let myself be consumed by the christmas lights in my house and an intoxicating candle lit on the floor, to dance like a crazy person in my house because it's healthy, and to laugh and smile whenever I can because absolutely nothing in this world is more precious.
Thank you, Miss Cutillo. You truly helped a down girl today, and you didn't even know it.
l.shane
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